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New apprentice on his first week asked me where we keep the 'long stand'. Sent him to the stores. Stores lad played along for forty minutes. Eventually the SM came over wondering why there was a 17 year old standing in the corner of the compound looking confused.
Second fix sparky mate spent three hours chasing out a wall for a cable run, very neatly done. Wrong wall. Right room, wrong wall. The chase was even the right length.
Had a health and safety rep from the client visit. Full suit, clipboard, obviously never been on a site before. Walked straight into the welfare block and asked why there was mud on the floor. It was a groundworks site. We were standing on mud.
Watching a site manager spend twenty minutes trying to get signal on his phone to update the digital site diary while standing three feet from the Wi-Fi router. Never told him.
JCB driver on a demo job who accidentally knocked over a perfectly intact section of wall the client specifically wanted to keep. Watched him back away from it, drive the JCB to the far end of the site, park it up and go for his dinner like nothing happened. No one mentioned it all day.
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